Can We Have Our English Language back, please?

rubber100“You must call it an ‘eraser’.  If you call it a ‘rubber’, someone will think you mean a contraceptive.”

“Really?”

“Really.  And what did you call your cat just then?”clarabel_on_stairs

“Pussy.”

You think I don’t know about double-meanings?  As someone who teaches IT in an FE college, largely to sex-obsessed, hairy boys, I know that any word or phrase can be made to be about sex,  if someone wants it to be, and sixteen year old boys mostly do.  So, are we going to allow the nudge-nudge-wink-wink people to take over our language?  Or the politically correct brigade,  who have issues with ‘blackboards’ and would reduce our whole vocabulary to ‘acceptable’ and ‘unacceptable’, ‘appropriate’ and ‘inappropriate’.  Of course, some words and phrases really are offensive, but these linger on, like  ‘retard’, ‘inbred’.  It also appears to be quite OK to shout out, ‘Oh God’ or even ‘Oh fucking God’, and I, as a Christian, am supposed to turn the other cheek.

I’m so glad I work in IT with geeks.  We don’t pussyfoot around.  We’re hard enough to have our hard drives… until cloud solutions take us over completely, I suppose… and we used to have floppy drives too.  When we want to show you what’s happening on our computer, we send you a screen-dump.  Generally, we use Google as our search engine, but, if we fancy a change, we might use Dogpile.  Anyone who cannot deal with it is a section on an html document – in other words, a div.   Or, as they say in the Conservative Party, a ‘swivel eyed loon’.

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